In
the Gospel of John, the Apostle Peter said something that I have wondered about
from time to time. When he spoke the words, it was after the resurrection of
Jesus, and even after Jesus had appeared to the disciples the initial times to
convince them that he actually had risen from the dead. Peter was together with
some others who had been his companions over the previous three years.
Suddenly
Peter makes an announcement. “I am going fishing,” he says (John 21:3).

Peter
was near the end of a series of trying experiences and near the end of what had
been a very difficult time for him. I think that Peter may have been speaking
out of weariness.
Perhaps
the reason that I have wondered about these words of Peter’s is because, in the
past, as I have worked in different capacities in various countries, I also
have sometimes found myself coming through what were difficult times for me,
and where my faith and dedication to the Lord had been tested. In no way do I
wish to compare my experiences with those of Peter’s, but I find a sort of
commonality in what he may have been feeling. His statement of going fishing
has come to have additional significance for me.
Being in Control
Before
he began to follow Jesus, Peter was a man who was used to being in control. He
was a man of strong self-determination and drive. These qualities made him a
good fisherman. Of course, he had to work with variables, such as the weather
and the movements of the fish. Sometimes he would return to shore with a great
catch of fish and sometimes with very little.
Basically
however, success in his occupation meant hard work. The longer the hours he put
in and the better he refined his fishing techniques, the more success he would
have. There is a certain comfort to this perspective.
But
the years he spent with Jesus had turned that perspective on its head. Suddenly
success was not a direct result and product of labor. Self-determination did
not seem to carry the weight as it had in his earlier life. This never became
more evident to him as it had in the days before he made the comment about
going fishing.
“Even
though all may fall away,” he had said to Jesus earlier, “yet I will not” (Matthew 26:33).
Peter
believed it of himself. He could not imagine distancing himself from the One whom
he had made his Master.
Trying to
Retain Control
“You
will, Peter.” Jesus told him. “Before the cock crows, you will deny me three
times.”
These
words of Jesus made Peter all the more determined. “Even if I have to die with
you I will not deny you!”
As
if to prove himself, when the soldiers came to arrest Jesus later that evening,
Peter went on the offensive. He picked up a sword and attacked one of the high priest’s
servants, cutting off the servant’s ear.
Perhaps Peter was surprised by the
response of Jesus. Perhaps he would have thought that Jesus would have seen his
bravery and determination and complimented him.
But instead, Jesus said, “Stop! No
more of this.” Jesus restored the ear of the servant.
However, despite this rebuke from
Jesus, Peter thought he would make good on his pledge to stay with Him. When
the soldiers arrested his Master, Peter did not flee, but followed along.
Losing Control
…It
was night now. Peter felt chilly and the sight of a fire seemed welcome. He sat
down along with many that were seated around the blaze. The arrest of the
Nazarene was the talk that night. All were offering their perspective and facts
that they knew, or things they that had heard.
There
was a servant-girl there who kept staring at Peter. It bothered him. Finally,
she spoke up, “This man was with him,” she said.
“No, you are mistaken. I don’t know
Him.”
The words were out before Peter
realized it. He may have wondered if he had actually said them.
Then it happened again. Another
person saw Peter and asked him if he had been a disciple of Jesus. Another
denial.
Then a relative of the man whose ear
Peter had cut off spoke and asked Peter “Did I not see you in the garden with
Him?” Again, Peter swore that he did not know Jesus.
The Gospel writer, Luke, mentions in
his book that at the third denial, Jesus turned and looked at Peter. Jesus must
have been in sight of Peter. Perhaps Jesus heard the denial or maybe he just knew
Peter had done it. Whatever the case, their eyes met, but Peter could not
continue to look at his Master in the eye.
He dropped his head, ran off, and
wept. This man of self-determination and strength knelt like a little child,
his head in his hands, and wept over what he had done.
Out of Control
The
hours and days that followed were agony for Peter. He could not believe the
things he was seeing and hearing. The Promised One was beaten and then
crucified. Peter remembered Jesus talking about how he, Jesus, would suffer and
be crucified. Peter also remembered how he had told his Lord, “No! This should
not happen!”
But
now it had happened. He also
remembered the rebuke he had received from Jesus at these words: “Get behind
Me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; for you are not setting your mind
on God’s interests, but man’s” (Matthew
16:23 ).
…The
first day of the week came. Peter was living in a daze. So much was happening
that he could not understand. He felt as though he had lost control of things. He
had lost control. As he sat with his
friend John, Mary Magdalene suddenly burst into their presence.
“They
have taken away the Lord out of the tomb,” she said, “and we do not know where
they have laid Him.”
The
two men rushed to the tomb where Jesus had been laid, but when they got there,
they saw only the grave cloths. As the day itself was dawning, it also began to
dawn on these two disciples what had occurred.
Jesus
had explained it to them before, but they had never understood. Now, seeing the
grave cloths lying by themselves, his words came back to them. Peter had not
yet understood it fully even when he saw the empty tomb, but eventually he
would come to realize, Jesus had risen from the dead!
Seeking to Regain Control
When
Peter announced to his friends that he was going fishing, it was several days
after all of this had occurred. Jesus had already appeared several times,
either to the disciples or to others. Peter marveled at all that had happened
in those days since Jesus came back to life, but there was still that nagging
thought—he had denied his Lord when he needed him most.
Peter
remembered that Jesus once called him a “rock” (Matthew 16:18). It made him shake his head to think
of it now. He felt more like the reeds in the shallows of the Sea of Galilee,
swaying back in forth with every ripple in the water.
The
past three years and especially the past few days had been too much. It had
been a time of emotional highs and lows, of great expectations and deep grief,
of excitement and disappointment. The greatest disappointment was in himself.
How
could he have been so blind not to see what Jesus was doing and saying? Jesus
had been true to his word, but Peter felt that he, himself had been a complete
and utter failure. The worst was the fact that he had denied his master! Why
did he let that happen?
Somehow,
the old life of a fisherman held an attraction. Peter was in control in those
days, and he saw a direct correlation between his own effort and the success in
his work. Failure in one day simply meant you worked harder the next. His old
life now seemed almost like an escape from that confusing period he had been
going through.
“I’m
going fishing,” he said.
I’m Going a’Logging
I
do not know if I am being fair to what Peter was thinking in those days and
what he had meant by those three or four words. But I know that he must have
felt weary. One cannot experience all that Peter did and not long for something
more straightforward—something easier to understand.
It
is the weariness that I have sometimes felt.
In
my early years I worked as a carpenter and also as a logger. I loved those
jobs. Of course there were frustrations, but at the end of the day, I could
stand back and see physical evidence of what I had accomplished. If something
did not go right, I would simply try again and work harder until I had success.
I
confess that there have been times in my life as a follower of Jesus when I
wanted to say, “I’m going a’logging.”
What Peter Caught
Peter
did go fishing. In fact, he got a few of the others to go with him. They fished
all night but caught nothing. It was disappointing, but they would have to try
again the next day.
As
they approached the shore, in the dim light of early dawn, they saw a figure of
a man on the beach. The man called out; “You do not have any fish, do you?”
“No,”
they answered.
It
had not been a good night of fishing.
The
unidentified man told them to cast their net on the right side of the boat and
they would have a catch.
Well…
they had nothing to lose, so they cast it out. To their amazement, the catch
was so great they could not even haul it in.
It
was John who realized who the man was. “It is the Lord,” he said.
When
Peter heard this, he jumped off the boat and headed for shore. In his heart, he
wanted to be with Jesus. He could not make himself wait to go all the way to
the shore in the boat with the others, who would be there shortly dragging the
net full of fish behind them.
When
the others joined Jesus and Peter, they found a fire already laid on the beach
with some fish already cooking. “Bring some of the fish you have caught,” Jesus
told them.
Peter
immediately stood up to do the work. He himself went and pulled up the net full
of fish, and John mentions that even though the net was so full, it did not
tear.
Relinquishing Control
That
which follows is the well-known account of Jesus asking Peter three times if he
loved Him. The opening question of Jesus is: “Simon; son of John, do you love
me more than these?”
Peter
no doubt knew what Jesus was referring to, but in reading this account, we are
left to try to understand. Did Peter love him more than what?
Some
say it was the other disciples. In other words, Jesus asked Peter if the love
that he had for his Lord was greater than the love the other disciples had for
him. It very well may be that this is what he meant.
However,
I see it a bit differently. I think Jesus was asking Peter if he loved him more
than he loved the fish. Jesus did not mean, of course, Peter’s love for the
little marine animals. Rather, he meant his love for his former way of life.
Jesus
saw that Peter was retreating into the past. He saw that Peter longed for a
simpler life, where things did not confuse him so much and where he saw some
correlation between what he attempted to do and the results of his labor.
Jesus
repeated the question three times. A person may answer a question once without
really thinking. Even twice. But when he is asked the same question a third
time, he cannot answer it without really considering what his answer should be.
“Simon,
son of John, do you love me?”
“Simon,
son of John, do you love me?”
“Simon,
son of John, do you love me?”
“Yes,
Lord, you know that I love you.”
“Yes,
Lord, you know that I love you.”
“Lord,
you know all things, You know that I love you.”
There
may be significance in the different words that Jesus and Peter may have used
to describe the depth of the love in question. But I think the greater
significance lies in the fact that Jesus was causing Peter to really think
about his commitment. The future would be no less difficult to grasp than the
past.
How
could a Peter, who constantly dreamed about being out in the boat working the
nets, ever handle the coming of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost? Or the inclusion
of the unclean Gentiles into the promises of Israel? Or the coming persecution?
No… difficult days were ahead, and Peter needed to know well the depth of his
commitment.
“Tend
my lambs.”
“Shepherd
my sheep.”
“Tend
my sheep.”
Becoming a Follower
I
believe that Peter and I would have a lot to talk about. I could talk about my
carpentry work and logging, and he could tell me about fishing. And then he
could tell me about leaving it all to follow Jesus. He did it initially. He was
among the first of the people to follow.

When
Peter answered for the third time, Jesus repeated the words that he had said to
Peter three years earlier. “Follow me.” For the second and final time Peter
left his old life of being a self-made man and followed.
He
was a disciple.
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